How to have meaningful and interesting conversations with your Grandparents
Conversations with your grandparents can be amazing, but sometimes it’s… a little awkward.
Growing up in Knoxville and living close to my grandparents was so special to me. A couple of them are no longer with us, so I treasure the conversations I had with them even more, knowing I won’t have the chance to spend them time with them again this side of heaven.
I’ve also experienced some struggles trying to relate to my grandparents. One was from Spain and spoke with a thick accent, and another struggled with profound hearing loss. Sometimes it takes leaning in to listen or speaking up A LOT to be heard, but those moments of connection are worth it.
Finding ways to connect with your grandparents is so important because these generational moments don’t last forever.
I believe that with a little courage and patience, you can build stronger relationships and good memories together with the ones you love.
Whether your grandparent is an amazing conversationalist and you always feel loved and connected when you’re together, or you wish you enjoyed time with your grandparent, but right now it’s a struggle, these questions and conversation prompts are for you.
You can lead the way
My philosophy for having great conversations is simple. Listen actively, and share from your heart. Conversations are best when both of you are listening and sharing.
Active listening includes making eye contact, giving audible reactions, and offering follow-up questions. This helps your grandparents feel cared for when you make space for them to really share.
The other critical part of the conversation is what you add by sharing and opening up to them. You can lead the way in building those connections by sharing some things about yourself so they can find something they can relate to, and feel confident to share something about themselves with you.
Tips for better conversations with your grandparents
Here are some practical tips that you can try the next time you get the chance to connect with your grandparents.
Ask them about a specific, object-related memory. For example, you’re visiting them and you find a photograph you haven’t seen before. Ask them where it was taken, and who else was in the photo. Try to think of a similar moment in your own life, and share that with them. For example, if your grandpa is in a photo with your grandma on a first date, and you get to hear that story, share about a funny first date experience you’ve had.
Tell them something you think is great about them, and share how that has impacted your life. This small way of showing love and gratitude for their life can be a great way to honor them, learn more about what has motivated them throughout their life, and hear about their hopes for the future. There are so many great follow-up questions that can come from this too, like what motivates you, how are you so compassionate toward others, or give me that recipe for the delicious bread you make!
Take them on a drive. One of my favorite memories with just me and my grandma was taking her out for donuts from a local bakery and driving through the historic Knoxville neighborhood she grew up in. The donuts were a hit because she and I both have a sweet tooth, and taking her to a physical place brought out memories that she wouldn’t have easily thought of without the visual cues everywhere. Driving through those same familiar roads together means now that she’s gone, I can still go down those same familiar roads, and imagine her with me.
Go deeper by sharing challenges. Tell your grandparent (generally) about a recent challenge you’ve been having. Share it in a way that invites them into the conversation, without baiting them with drama. Ask if they ever experienced anything like that. If so, ask how they responded to that challenge, and ask if they thought they would do anything differently if they had to face it again. It’s amazing what stories you may hear for the first time by approaching a specific situation in your life, and asking if they’ve experienced something similar.
Learn something from them. A big way to preserve your family’s history is by learning a recipe or heirloom skill from your grandparents. Maybe they’ve got a sewing pattern they always use for potholders that you could learn, or maybe they’ve got a way of carving with wood that only your family knows how to do. Ask them if they could teach you sometime, and when you’re doing it, ask them how they first learned. The stories will be flowing for sure!
Once you’ve had some of these amazing conversations with your grandparents, you may be wishing you had some way to capture them, sharing the meaningful parts of their lives and celebrating who they are.
Let’s talk about how we could help you capture their story and honor them with a video.
